10 Meditation Tips That Don’t Suck Because You Don’t Need Another App, Guru, or Life-Changing Sunrise

Let’s be real: I didn’t start meditating to become some serene, barefoot goddess whispering about inner peace. I just wanted to feel better.

Since 2016, I’ve collected self-help books like unpaid therapy. I’ve journaled, tapped, visualized, aligned my chakras, and hugged my inner child—and still spent a good chunk of time spiraling.

So no, this isn’t another shiny “fix your life in 10 steps” guide. This is what actually helped me after years of trying everything else. It’s for the ones who are over it—but still holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s something real out there.

🧠 1. Start Small or Burn Out Fast

You don’t need to light incense, sit in lotus pose, and meditate for 30 minutes like some Instagram monk—unless you want to hate meditation and yourself simultaneously.

Starting big is the fastest way to crash and burn. You’re not building a shrine—you’re building a habit. And habits start small.

Try five minutes. Or three. Even one. Just sit. Breathe. Let that be enough because it is.

You’re not auditioning for a Zen competition. Nobody’s judging you. Except you, obviously. You’re out here in your own head with a clipboard and red pen like:

“Oh no, I got distracted during my breath count. Guess I’m a spiritual failure now.”

The magic isn’t in the minutes—it’s in the showing up. You're teaching your brain that consistency matters more than perfection.

So ditch the pressure. Sit down. Practice doing basically nothing.

Stillness isn’t new. You just forgot how to notice it.

💭 2. Stop Trying to “Clear Your Mind”

“Clear your mind.”As if your brain is a dry-erase board and all you need is one firm swipe of mindfulness to scrub it clean. Cute idea. Completely false.

Your brain’s literal job is to think. That’s what it does. Telling it to stop is like telling your stomach to stop digesting because you're trying to relax.

Meditation isn’t about going thoughtless like a decorative fern. You won’t float above your problems in a bliss bubble. It’s more like watching your mental circus parade—and choosing not to chase every clown.

Here’s what meditation is about:

• Awareness: Noticing your thoughts without turning them into a soap opera.

• Attention: Redirecting your focus. Again and again. Brain gym.

• Compassion: Not scolding yourself every time your mind wanders.

  (Because it will. Like... now, probably.)

  
  

You don’t stop thinking—you just stop believing every thought is a royal decree from your brain palace.

You’re not broken. You’re human. Congratulations.

🔁 3. Repeat What Works—Until It Doesn’t

If something helps, repeat it. Let it hold you.

But when it starts to feel stale, trust that. It’s not failure—it’s feedback. Healing isn’t rigid. It’s fluid. Evolving.

Meditation isn’t about muscling through boredom for spiritual points.

It’s about noticing what feels true right now. 

You’re allowed to shift. You’re meant to shift.

🛋️ 4. Sit However the Hell You Want

Forget that perfect lotus pose from Instagram. No one’s handing out gold stars for sitting like a decorative pretzel.

You don’t need a stillness certificate to sit down and breathe.

Sit on the floor. Lie on the couch. Meditate in your car. Crawl under a weighted blanket and become a peaceful burrito of unresolved emotions.

Whatever makes your body feel safe enough to let go—that’s the right posture.

Your spine doesn’t need to align with the cosmos. It just needs to not scream while you breathe.

This is about comfort, not contortion.

☁️ 5. If Your Mind Wanders, You’re Still Doing It Right

Some days, you’ll spiral. Think about laundry. Regret. Leftovers. That’s fine.

You don’t need laser focus for meditation to work. You just need to keep coming back.

Because every time you return to your breath, even for a second, you’re reminding your body: you’re safe.

That you’re here. Now. That is the practice.

You're not doing it wrong. You're doing it.

🎧 6. Use Guided Meditation

Not all meditations are created equal. Some are so deep in the cosmic sauce, you forget you just wanted to breathe, not astral project.

I needed something grounded. Human. That’s why I created The Meditation Mastery Collection—33 gentle, honest sessions that helped me stop spiraling, five minutes at a time.

No guru complex. No fluffy mantras about “aligning with the cosmic dolphin grid.”

Just a steady voice to help you breathe. No pressure. Just peace.

(And if you're not ready to commit? Cool. Free ones on YouTube work too.)

🌙 7. Late-Night Meditation Is Totally Valid

You don’t need to greet the sunrise with lemon water and a singing bowl to “do it right.” Meditation doesn’t care what time it is.

Some of my most healing sessions happened at 11:47 PM—right before doomscrolling under the covers, low-key unraveling, and clinging to one last thread of sanity.

It hit different—not because I was calm, but because I wasn’t. And I needed something to hold me together.

Meditation at midnight counts. This isn’t about aesthetics. It’s about surviving your brain when it’s loudest.

So yeah—next time you’re lying there reliving that thing you said in 2012, maybe try meditating instead.

It won’t fix everything. But it sure beats arguing with imaginary people who probably aren’t thinking about you.

🔇 8. Silence Isn’t Always Golden

Sometimes silence is just… loud. Like, anxiety-on-a-megaphone loud.

Not everyone thrives in monk mode. Some of us need ocean sounds, lo-fi beats, or a fake British guy named Daniel whispering reminders to breathe.

Use music. Use white noise. Use whatever calms your nervous system.

This isn’t about impressing the imaginary monk in your head who’s judging you for not transcending yet. This is about support.

Peace doesn’t have to be silent. Sometimes it sounds like waves, wind chimes. Or sometimes it hums.

🛠️ 9. Stillness Isn’t Boring—That’s Just a Busy Brain Talking

Stillness can feel strange when your nervous system only recognizes chaos.

If you’re used to caffeine, overthinking, and constant stimulation, of course, it feels suspicious. Your brain’s like, “Where’s the noise? Who canceled the panic?”

But that “nothingness” you’re feeling? It’s not empty. It’s recalibration.

Your thoughts are unclenching. Your body is finally exhaling like it’s not prepping for battle.

Your system is powering down on purpose.

Stillness is where the magic happens—but only if you stop judging for a minute.

That “boredom”? That’s not failure. That’s just withdrawal from noise. Let it pass.

Because underneath it? There’s a kind of quiet that actually nourishes you.

And maybe even heals you.

🌀 10. You Don’t Need to Be Fixed

This one took years to land: You’re not broken. You’re just tired. Overloaded.

Running 47 mental tabs and running out of RAM.

Meditation isn’t about making you shinier or more productive. It’s a way home.

Not to the best version of you.To the real one. The one under the noise. The one that’s always been there.

You don’t need to be fixed. You just need breath. Space. Less.

And if all you did today was pause—even for a second—that’s not nothing.

That’s everything.

Either way, they were enough.

Maybe they’ll help you too.

Or maybe they’ll just remind you:

You don’t have to do this healing thing perfectly.

You just have to show up.

And hey, you already did. That counts!

🎧 Want to Try What Actually Helped?

No fluff. No pressure. Just real meditations that held me when I was burnt out, over it, and aggressively Googling “how to calm down but like, fast.”

If you’re curious, The Meditation Mastery Collection is on Audible now—33 grounding sessions that helped me breathe again when nothing else worked.

Here’s what you get in the full collection:

🧠 10 Meditations for Deep Relaxation, Anxiety & Stress Relief: For when your thoughts are louder than your neighbor’s leaf blower and you just want to exhale without crying. These are your nervous system’s best friends.

💌 Love Yourself Now: A whole set focused on self-worth, affirmations, and feeling like maybe—just maybe—you’re not a complete failure. (Spoiler: you're not.)

🩹 6 Self-Love & Healing Meditations: These help you meet yourself gently. No forcing. No fixing. Just holding space for the version of you that’s still healing, still trying.

🧠 Hypnosis for Success & Wealth: Because it turns out financial anxiety doesn’t respond well to panic spirals. These sessions help rewire your inner “I’ll never get ahead” soundtrack.

💸 Abundance & Prosperity Visualizations: Guided visualizations to help you stop just surviving and start remembering that you can receive more, without the guilt.

You don’t need to meditate “perfectly.” You just need something that meets you where you are.

This is that.